A messy divorce is often a result of mistakes made by either you or your ex-spouse. This fact can be difficult to accept, but once you do, the path to divorce will be much easier since you can actively work to avoid them. Here are some common mistakes to avoid during divorce.

1 – Forcing People to Take Sides

The first and most common mistake made during divorce is forcing people to take sides. Whether out of anger or spite, couples tend to share information with anyone willing to listen. There’s a natural tendency to seek confirmation that you’re in the right and make the other person suffer for their wrongdoings. Unfortunately, this puts friends and family in an awkward position and may not work out the way you hope.

If your ex does the same, there’s no telling whose side people will take. If your ex chooses to stay silent and take the high road, you will appear the unreasonable one. It’s also possible that so much negativity causes both of you to lose friends and family in the process. Either way, no good can come from forcing people to take sides. The best approach is to find one or two confidants to vent and share details with. Avoid oversharing with mutual friends and family.

2 – Leveraging Children

Divorce is complicated and confusing enough for adults. Imagine how difficult it must be for children to understand. When children are forced to take sides or are leveraged in a divorce, it can cause irreparable psychological harm. Unless there’s a safety concern, children benefit from having a relationship with both parents. Interfering in the relationship with the other parent can cause resentment in the future. For their sake and yours, shield your children from the inner workings of the divorce and allow them to stay on good terms with both you and your ex.

3 – Bad Mouthing Your Ex

Another of the biggest mistakes to avoid during divorce is bad mouthing your ex. Whether it be in conversations with friends and family or through postings on social media, a campaign to hurt your ex’s reputation can backfire. First and foremost, if you’re seeking spousal or child support, tarnishing your ex’s reputation may limit his/her ability to earn higher wages. Ultimately, this reduces what you may receive for support. Another consideration is how your actions may be viewed by a mediator or judge. You may gain less sympathy if your actions appear malicious. You could also face a defamation lawsuit.

4 – Purging Cash

Avoid the mistake of intentionally dwindling financial assets to hurt your spouse. This includes selling physical assets for below market value, damaging property, and/or intentionally prolonging divorce proceedings to incur unnecessary attorney and court fees. Marital assets belong to both you and your ex. Causing your ex to lose money will reduce what you may receive during or after the divorce. We’ve seen so many couples make this mistake and then struggle for years after. Remember that your goal is to move on after divorce and financial stability will help you do so more quickly.

Other Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce

These are just a few examples of mistakes to avoid during divorce. It’s important to follow the guidance and advice of your attorney when it comes to what you should or shouldn’t do. Your attorney will help you make better decisions to secure a better life for you and your children. Contact our team for assistance with your divorce case and other family law matters.